TREAT YOURSELF TO THE MOUSTACHE

2009-05-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

You dream of a moustache but can’t wait for it to grow? That's no longer necessary - thanks to a new technology you can implant a third-party moustache. Buy the moustache now and become part of the moustachioed elite overnight.

All you need to know about the moustache:

Advantages of the moustache
Boost your looks
Buying the moustache: incredibly time saving
What you will buy
How to buy the moustache
Description of the moustache
Growth of the moustache
Spare Hair
Implantation of the moustache
Expert opinion from moustachologue Pierre Mandillac
Specification sheet of the moustache
Quotations from famous moustache-bearers

Advantages of the moustache
There are many reasons to buy the moustache. It will enhance your masculinity, give you inimitable style and distinguish you as a man of the highest taste. It is also a symbol of growth for a world in recession.

Today, having the moustache is more than a look, it's a state of mind. A state of mind expressing...

...a certain idea of dignity
...originality, liberality and ease
...stability in an uncertain world
...common sense and the attachment to traditional values
...modernity and a broad horizon
...controlled masculine power irresistible to women.

As the moustache will project all of these values to the outside world, it will make your life easier, as simple as that. All these factors will make you a proud moustache bearer – fully knowing what it stands for.

Boost your looks
One of the main advantages of the moustache is the way it combines with a wide array of outfits, giving them a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes the difference between success and perfection. See photos for more detail.

Buying the moustache: incredibly time saving
Purchasing the moustache will enable you to bypass the painfully long growth period for a classic thick moustache. Why not sidestep tentative facial pilosity, which could place you in the category of the unevenly shaven. You can do it yourself, but can you ensure the quality of the end product? Be reassured knowing the perfect growth conditions under which the moustache has been cultivated (see “Growth”).
Don't venture into facial experiments - buy the moustache.

How to buy the moustache
The moustache will be up for sale on e-bay from May 17, 2010 at 12:00 European Time. Over a period of 10 days you will have the opportunity to purchase this prestigious male accessory that will put you in the top notch of first-rate moustache bearers.

What you will buy
The auction winner will become the sole proprietor of this absolutely unique moustache properly laid out on a special device that allows the hairs to be seized easily. The moustache is guaranteed for 25 years from the date of purchase.

Description of the moustache
This moustache is a superb specimen of dark bristles, with over 750 hairs per square centimetre (European average is 500). Its texture ensures an optimal fit and an unrivaled touch sensation. The wiry, black hair features russet highlights, a two-toned colour that matches its quality to make it absolutely unique.

Growth of the moustache
The moustache had a growth period of over 5 months. From its initiation in October 2009, its evolution was supervised by a panel of recognized specialists. Their efforts were coordinated by a leading researcher of the Canadian Institute of Higher Hair Studies, the first of its kind in this field. This expert team consistently monitored the ideal growth conditions, taking into account exposure to sun, humidity and fresh air. The hair was groomed with the best waxes and facial fertilizers – 100% chemical free.
The health of the moustache bearer was put under close scrutiny, including a balanced diet high in B vitamins, a rigorous programme of physical exercise to ensure best irrigation of the hair roots, and a strict schedule of rest and sleep to guarantee ideal growth conditions.
In addition, regular testing was carried out by a representative panel of women and men who accepted to kiss the bearer under monitoring in regular intervals of 15 days and thus provided valuable feedback allowing to better regulate the evolution of the moustache.
To obtain harmonious development, it was trimmed at set periods by a qualified hairdresser under supervision by the team of experts.

Spare hair
In case of loss or accidental damage, we are able to provide you with spare hair. Depending on the length of the desired hair, the delivery will take from 2 weeks to 4 months.

Implantation of the moustache
Thanks to a new patented technology developed in leading laboratories, implantation of the moustache is an easy task. Upon request, we will provide contacts for aesthetic surgery institutes that use the latest technology.
You can of course choose to implant the hair yourself with the means you consider fit.
Please be aware that the cost of implantation is not included in the price of the moustache!

Expert opinion from international moustachologue, Pierre Mandillac:
"I have been a moustachologue for 35 years. In my entire career, I have never seen such a beautiful specimen as the one on sale here. A cross between the moustache of Freddy Mercury and Stalin, its plain, classical form will give its new proprietor an air of dignity that is rare nowadays, while enabling a relaxed attitude. The quality of the hair, the density of the implantation, the texture that lies between softness and flexible resistance...it is challenging to find the words to describe its perfection. And most of all, the width of the moustache will inevitably suggest the large horizon of the bearer. An incomparable offer!"

Specification sheet of the moustache
Colour: black, blended with russet highlights (12%)
Dimension: 7.5 cm x 1.2 cm
Inclination: 24° right and left starting from the centre
Length: >750 hairs per cm2
Growth period: over 5 months
Life span: minimum 25 years

Quotations of famous moustache bearers

"Without moustache, a man isn't really dressed."
Salvador Dali

"There is no love without a moustache."
Guy de Maupassant

"With a moustache, the life of a manager seems easier."
Financial Times Deutschland, article about German managers with moustaches

"The public does need great painting but better moustaches."
Salvador Dali

"A kiss without a moustache is like a beefsteak without mustard."
Italian proverb

"A man without a moustache is like a woman with a moustache."
Anton Tchekhov

Credits:
Idea & text: Adrian Garcia-Landa - Photos: Álvaro Sendra González - English translation: Lara Barker - Web programming: Nicolas Perguet - Costumes: Christine Nicod

MOUSTACHE FOR SALE

TREAT YOURSELF TO THE MOUSTACHE